Reflections: Collective trauma

Meetings are good. Despite this, I am feeling very lost, stuck. In all honesty, I like the concept of exploring the fractured theme but feel I am approaching it in a way that is just not me. Last week I came to a deep understanding of my community of practice, which Alison and I discussed at length.

I have been struggling to work with the topic of "collective trauma". I have a hard enough time managing a voice for myself. Although it would be ignorant to state that unpleasant things have not, and will not happen in my orbit, or that of my friends, I don't believe my life to have been in any state of "trauma". Disruptions? Yes. Pain? Sure. The cliche "It will pass" works on both sides of the fence. Good and bad. It's how I apply and utilise what I have learned from these experiences moving forward that count.

I have a gift. It is the ability to capture that which cannot be seen in a still. Specifically, energy, sound and emotion. The question now is, why am I not utilising all the resources at my disposal to hone and refine this skill set. Energy sound and emotion are primal, in the very core of my bones.

I took collective trauma on board when I shouldn’t have. Perhaps it was because I felt it was expected. Perhaps I feel that I am not “academic” enough. Perhaps I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself. The best part about acknowledging and owning questionable behaviour, particularly when it is toward myself, is stepping through the shit, and moving forward.

I have no idea what I will do. I do know that I need to trust my instincts. I do like the aesthetics of Kintsugi and the concept of apply Gestalt principles to my work. I just need to figure out how.

Keywords

35mm, 4x5, HP5, Fuji Superia, Colour, BW, Semester 2, Studio 1, Contemporary, Photography